All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go...

So I've been waiting for this for months now and have been counting down the days since 103. Now it's something like 44 hours or so. I'm so excited, scared, enthralled, timid, and giddy all at the same time. Come tomorrow night I know I won't be able to sleep and the Speciales' will pull into my driveway at 3 am and I'll be off. It's so awesome that they are actually doing this for me, I'm so close to his family, especially his Mother. We're like old friends, it's weird. I'm sure he hates it and is weirded out by it but oh well. I really didn't expect his parents to really like the idea of me going up there, but not only do they support it, they're an acting force in getting me up there! The day he left I talked to his mother about it. Just minutes after he'd pulled away (and before I fell apart) she went inside and got me 2 flyers for two hotels that were up there. Turns out that my dad came across one of those flyers and I'm actually going to stay in a really nice hotel a few days. I wonder what it's going to be like? Everyday duirng our school's "moment of silence" I've prayed that he does well on his exams, that he doesn't forget me, that he makes great friends, that he grows closer to God, and so on and so forth. I know we haven't drifted apart because we've only missed talking to eachother 2 days since he left. I'm just a little nervous about how I'm going to react. It seems I'm anticipating this a little more than he is, that scares me too. What doesn't scare me is that I know I love him, and love knows no distance. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and the truth of those words will be my anthem for the next 3 years or so at least. Just to be in his warm embrace is all I've wanted for the past 3 and a half months. He's been the subject of almost every post I've got in this thing. All of you who say long distance relationships can't work can suck it! Ok, that wasn't very nice but still. Never say it can't be done. The 23rd will not only be the day I see him but will also be our 4 month (insert latin prefix for month here)-versary. And there's a heck of a lot more months to come after that. The feeling of knowing someone loves you is the greatest in the world.

A not so meaningful post: If you ever want to go through some extreme pain, got to a salon and get a wax treatment. OMFG, PAIN!

Ok, with this whole Krystal Alvarado thing. Yes, this is terribly, terribly tragic and the realization that this can happen to anyone is absolutely terrifying and gives us a slap in the face on reality. We're not immortal, we should stop living like we are. Maybe I'm just talking to myself here, but I know there are some things in my life that I'm changing because of this. The thing that most saddens me is I knew her relatively well and that's not really a good thing. When I think of Krystal I want to think of her as a nice great person but I can't. To me she wasn't very nice and her and her friends didn't exactly like me. I mean, they were the cause of so much grief in my elementary and junior high years. Needless to say it was all bull crap anyway. So stupid and petty little things that don't amount to a thing in the end. This just proves that life is so short and way too preciuous to have little grudges about anything! I wish so much that I could have at least talked to her in high school. I never said anything to her these past three years. That is so dumb! I'm not saying I would've wanted to be best friends with her or anything, but you know just to talk to her. It doesn't really matter now. I just feel awful for have had any bad feelings toward her at all, they were pointless. I'm not sure I really said here what I really was trying to, hmmmm. I will miss you, Krystal.

Since I'm at home feeling like crap and nothing to do, I decided to finish up reading all of Josh's Blog. I read from December til present. Needless to say, I just feel stupid. That's all. I'm going to bed.

Ok, 2 days till I'm 18. I can't beleive it, I still feel (and act) 15. This is so weird. I can't do much of a birthday party now because this weekend is NCYC and I'll be in El Paso. I was planning it for next weekend, but that fell through because American Airlines is dumb. Maybe I'll have a Birthda-Christmas-Welcome Home Josh Party. Yeah, that'll be fun.

I've waited so very long for this trip... 12 freakin days! I'm sure you guys are really sick of my daily updates, but I'll do it until the day I leave.

I have a correction to my last update. I said "I'm sure I could live without them, but I would never want to." That's not true, I really can't live without any one of those things.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTY!

My fabulous English project was presented to my entire class today. The assignment was to think about stuff you couldn't live without if you had to live in one square yard of space. Some people did all kinds of crazy stuff like inserting drive-thru windows or shrink machines and a magical miniature forrests. I just started drawing at the Lighthouse last night and did the first few things that came to mind. I didn't really follow directions, I kind of cut off the "in one square yard of space" and just used "what could I not live without." So here's the list... I'm sure I could live without them, but I would never want to.

My Bible
A Tree
Big Pillow
Sunsets
Journal and Lime Green pen
Candles & Incence
Photo Album/Scrapbook
Music
Fruit
Italian Creme Sodas
Christmas
My Sister
Ashlin
Josh




The fun random G/T thing I added last minute was a "Season Machine" so I could manage the seasons to what mood I was in. The season's incorporated weather into them, so I had my love of snow covered in winter and my love of thunderstorms covered in summer. That project was a lot of fun and I got a ton of great feedback.

I must say I had the greatest time when it came to drawing my Italian Cream Soda. I swear, subconciously I'm... I just need to talk to Freud about that. We all had a great laugh about that, I'll never be able to swallow one sip of Italian cream sodas ever again without thinking of... ahhhhhh!


Italian Cream...