too long gone

It has been way too long... I totally kick myself for not making a post on February 29! What the heck was I thinking! Being how my brain is occupied by a million other things right now, not thinking about that is the least of my problems. I look at my desk and around my room and I see lists for everything. Books I want to read, letters I have to send, prayer requests, music I want to get ahold of, tests I need to register for. The latter is by far my absolute worst enemy right now. I have at least 3 very expensive exams I have to take SOON and I am quite nervous. I think my lack of confidence in myself is directly responsible for my procrastination, but I really need pray, let it go, to get over it.

I believe that is the worst result of this looming thing and has been the aspect I have been most struggling with. It seems I have lost almost all confidence in myself and my decisions. I don't trust myself anymore, which puts a big damper on planning anything. It's ironic because I am all about the "planning" thing but now I can't seem to get past a few months from now. This is where one of my new favorite verses (and new meditations) comes in:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

That has become my new mantra and has helped me immensely. My Bible plus peppermint mochas are at the top of my favorites list right now. Up there also are jammin to the Beatles, rockin the pool table, and debating with Jeff (and other such Republicans.) My confidence is slowly returning and I must say the job offer at San Marcos helped. I am still a marketable professional with a caring personality and newfound wisdom... my vivacity is slowly returning with time.

Right now its all about the students, both high school and college. My heart is poured in them now.