-Addition to Yesterday-

There have been a lot of future plans that I have changed within the past few weeks. I had a plan, but it depended on something I thought might happen but doesn't look so promising anymore. Man, I liked that plan... it was beautiful. Oh well.

So now I'm just looking for a way out. One road straight out of San Angelo. I'm going to apply for every internship or job I can find that corresponds with my department. I'll take anything: magazine, newspaper, televison, radio... anything! My ambition has been hybernating the past 2 years and it's about to break out into ludicrous speed. I've got a Band scholarship interview/try out coming up this week and I'm gonna get it because I'm miss positive attitude!

I've pretty much figured I'm no longer a part of anyone elses future so it's only me on my own. God, please help me to see what you've got planned for me!

I've been reading the old posts in journals and blogs of the people who graduated last year just to get some insight on how they were feeling. Some things were different, but the basic feeling is (including me) excitement, sadness, and a little bit of fear.

The truth is I'm really looking forward to college. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I want the higher level thinking, the challenges, the hard work, the fun. At least my friends will still be here to experience everything with me.

My sister asked me yesterday what I regret most about my years in high school. My number one thing was that one New Year's Eve party I went to my sophomore year. I got drunk for the first time and forevermore I have to say, "Yeah, I drank in high school." That just kills me. Other than that I have the usual regrets: wish I would've studied harder, wish I would've made more friends, wish I would've been more particular about the boys I got involved with, wish I would've made more meaningful relationships with my friends, etc.

With graduation approaching I start thinking back on my senior year and how it went. The only thing I would change is having my boyfriend here to share it with me. But then again, I wouldn't have been able to go on that wonderful trip back in November, so... Obviously, that can't change and all in all I think my senior year was great! Full of RANDOM fun and befriending RANDOM people.

FOR MY SAKE, FAKE IT!.... Please?