Last week I had a lot of triumphs and a couple low blows.

Triumphs. I won a scholarship from the Communication department at ASU and my sister, Krista,won a scholarship from her work. I got to travel out of town with Brandon and we hiked around Christoval for a few hours, which is something I've wanted to do for a long time.

Lo Blows. My step-grandmother passed away in her sleep on Easter Morning. My brother called Thursday informing us that he was getting a divorce. "She said she doesn't love me anymore and we were so different to begin with." That explanation terrifies me. I don't understand how one can "fall out" of love with someone, but the irreconsilable differences I do understand. What I am most worried about is losing my Nephew, Bryce. If she takes him to Canada, who knows when my sisters and I will get to see him.

Divorce is horrible. There was a post on postsecret that said "I knew when I married him, we would get divorced. And we did." For goodness sakes, if you have such severe reservations, DON'T TIE THE KNOT! Yet, what about the people with small reservations? The ones who want to get married, but don't really know if they'll be happy for the rest of their life with that person. I need to have a personal search and see what marriage really means to me because I'm beginning to believe marriage is just an expensive public show of short-lived dedication and God has nothing to do with it anymore. Coming to this realization is really strange for me because I've wanted to get married since I was 5 and I've desired a nuclear family since my parents split up... and I still don't believe sex before marriage is a good idea. Do I contradict myself? Maybe, but so be it. I'm pissed off at the marriage institution right now.