Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday, Christmas naturally being my first. I love it. I really like being with my family. If I haven't emphasized it enough, family is really REALLY important to me. Thanksgiving is one of the only times when I get to see my Aunt and Uncle from Arizona, and my Aunt and Uncle (sadly) from San Angelo. Not to mention my cousin, and this year he's bringing his new wife!
Tonight was really bittersweet. Krista is in town, so I left my friends at the Lighthouse early. I came home to an empty house. I've been pretty emotional and sensitive lately and it seems like everything (including being yelled at in jest) makes want to break down and cry. Well, with this I guess the build up of my stresses, the house thing, and probably something to do with Flo, I started crying.
When everyone finally did come home after about an hour, Krista, Anne, my mother, and myslef ended up in Anne's room listening to the Garden State soundtrack. It was good having the "girls" together again. We really only listened to the soundtrack for one song, "Blue Eyes." It was played at my sister's friend's funeral. His sister picked it out for him, along with a few other memorable ones like "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" which was the song of his graduating year. I can't even imagine anyone close to me dying, much less my brother or sister! If you don't know the story of Brandon and the stabbings, ask me later. I can't write that all here. It was my sister's friend, Kristen's brother. He was murdered October 19 of this year. Now Kristen is the only child left of the 4 in the family. Her younger brother, Jeremy, died in March 2003 from a freak four-wheeling accident. Her oldest brother died when she was 4, from a freak motorcycle accident, and her dad died of a heart-attache when she was 6. Needless to say, her mother and her have been through a lot and please pray for them this Thanksgiving.
After we were all teary-eyed from that we moved onto a more personal, yet similar experience or ours. We started talking about Christian. I was only 13 when he died and it's really hard to think about "if" he had lived. I would have a 5 year-old nephew to teach baseball to. My sister was only 17, but she was still his mother. I can't imagine the grief she felt, I don't remember really seeing it because I was going through my parent's divorce and my dad leaving. She talked tonight about how when she dreams of him, she's always trying to save him from something like an illness or danger. My God, it hurts to imagine me loosing a child like that. I see Krista now in the Air Force and it's hard to believe what we all went through that year.
Those events, along with some other events today, made me cry a gallon of tears. I'm not sad about anything really, just scared and confused with some traces of numbness. In 10 hours I have Thanksgiving to share with Josh and his family, then later Josh (hopefully) and my family. I'm trying to forget everything that has happened to me within the past few months, and be truely thankful for the life I do have and the someone special I share it with.
