The past two weeks have been very trying on me. Venting this may help me deal with it a little better so it doesn't happen again.

Thursday was pretty harsh on me. I was still feeling very sick and I forced myself to go to all my classes. Well, Philosophy is my first class on that day and it did not go well at all. She gave back our essay assignment and I got a big fat C. That is the worst grade I've gotten on an assignemt in college to date. It was so depressing. Although, I know I didn't work as hard on it as I should have so I think I've learned my lesson well. That day I also almost got in a few wrecks and got very wet in the rainy weather. My one saving grace for that day was when I was in the UC grabbing lunch. Alex Yarbrough was doing homecoming elections and he said to me "Elizabeth, when I see you I just think 'College Student.'" That comment alone made me feel great and was an awesome compliment. It's little things like that that get me through these bad weeks.

Thursday night, one of my very good friends came in from Chicago and she spent the night with me at the dorms. Around 12:30, we walked over to the bonfire where Jordan and the rest of the ROTC people were guarding. The four of us climbed to the top of it and talked while gazing at the San Angelo city line. It was very special, I'm glad I got to share it with Elisa. Of course it made me miss Josh more, but that's a given.

Friday, one of my friends from the BSM volunteered to take me to get the soda from the Coca Cola company for the SGA Ramgate. While talking on the way over there, we found out we had a mutual friend. Ross is from Monahans and so was a certain band camp "fling" I had when I was a sophomore. James Fickenscher, which Ashlin and I affectionaly call "duck boy," happens to be Ross's best friend. When James was talking on the phone to me once, his friends(including Ross) were making fun of him and they even wrote a song about me and him. They referred to me as "Liz" and the song had something to do with Band Camp. I just realized that I never added him to the list of boy's I've kissed... that makes the number something... I don't know. Today James contacted me through facebook, so now we can see where we both are 5 years later. How ironic.

Homecoming is fianlly over along with Ramgate. It's nice to have that off my plate. I had a very good time hanging out with Jordan's parents and Jeremy this weekend. We all seemed to click very well with eachother, except for Jeremy contantly picking on me. Geez, it's hard to read that boy. I sometimes wonder why I get along better with boys than I do with girls. What's even more odd is that I trust boys more too. Weird huh?

I'm really hoping this week goes better. I need to pray about a lot of things, but hopefully life will start working a little better for me now homecoming is over.

Fall is the season for change, and it seems I am doing just that. I've shed my summer skin and with it I lost years, memories, dreams, etc... Things I thought were so planned out and secure, I'm beginning to question whether it really fits me or not. Things like that terrible "f" word, future. Is what I'm going to school for appropriate or am I selling myself short?

I have a plaque that reads "Trust your instincts" and a friend who gives the advice "Ninty percent of the time, you know what you have to do." If that is true then I fear for everyone around me because this bird won't be caged.

This is BIG.