two weeks

Cassie knows me well, actually. Two weeks, that's all it takes. Ever since 10th grade, just two weeks.

I am a selfish person. We are all selfish by nature, but I have acted very very selfishly. It's just when I know what I want, I gotta have it. I just GO for it, no matter what. I had to have this. That boy got into the picture and never left. I can't stop thinking about him. This is big. As in this feeling is very VERY new to me, either because it's been years since I've been this happy or it s because it is just a brand new feeling. I'm not sure.

The cool thing is, I am comfortable with distances. Very comfortable, actually. This won't be too bad for about 6 months, then I can move down there, which has been my plan for months, years actually. Since the Austin marathon in 2007.

I need to start making some driving playlists, San Marcos is exactly 3.5 hours away.

I feel joyous. His name is Daniel.

change of heart

So in the end, the change of heart was my own. Around my birthday I finally came to realize what I really wanted out of life. I believe God revealed a glimpse of my path, so I’m taking it all on full force. Unfortunately, I lacked an impetus and am just getting to it now, but better late than never. I realized I wanted to change some things and I wanted to get reacquainted with myself. Finally I was able to get some real work done.

The first casualty of all this, sadly, is my relationship with Jason. After those little bumps we went through, it was me this time who had the change of heart. When I lost some feelings I realized I wasn’t trying to find them again. I need to be with me and cannot share myself with anyone else right now. Jason and I just don’t fit into each other’s lives right now and I don’t want to force anything. My priorities revolve around school, work, and my well-being and that is what I am comfortable with. An intimate relationship could work for me if it fit, but this one doesn’t. Jason is my best friend and there he will stay, if he is mature enough to handle it.

What’s next? Well, I’m continuing to work on my master’s degree and am focusing on research. I will be working closely with the High Schools and Elementary schools this semester, presenting my GOALS presentation at seminars. I’ll also be training for a few Triathlons and will be supporting Krista through her 1/2 Ironman. Then there is this BOY that keeps popping into my life and it's driving me crazy. I have Italy and Greece to look forward to, as well as graduating with my M.Ed in May.

God has blessed me with so much, so I’m going to enjoy being me for a little while.