And time now goes by so slowly...

seeing how this looks... doesn't matter what i say here anyway because no one READS it anymore!

While I was washing dishes at the Lighthouse tonight...
Kylon: If there was someone that you were so in love with that you could marry them right now, who would it be?
Me: Um... (pause) My boyfriend.
Kylon: Why?
Me: Why not? What's the point in going out with someone if you can't see yourself marrying them?

The cool thing is that I didn't even think twice before answering him. In 7th grade (by the influence of Lauren Matthews when I attended First Baptist Church) I kind of made a vow to apply that to all of my relationships along with true love waits, but the only thing I've stayed true to til now was the latter.

"Makes me shiver, but in a good way"

Showing off my sister today was so much fun. My mother, Krista, and I went to lunch at Fuentes. Great food! Then we went to the bank to start up a savings account for her here in the states. They went inside around 2:17 and I fell asleep in the backseat of the car. When I woke up it was 3:11 and about 5 minutes later, they showed up. One hour in a hot car in the middle of the afternoon, what was I thinking? We went to Goodwill after that, no luck finding anything for me. I took my sister first to her friend Marcie's house and got to visit that family. I haven't seen her in 3 years and now she has two little boys (the younger of the two kept molesting me, spanking my butt as much as possible) She's only 21! After Marcie's I was really depressed, but nothing could prepare me for what was next. I then took Krista to her best friend Kristy's house. I haven't seen her in 3 years either. Turns out she has a little boy, a little girl, and is having a c-section tomorrow morning for her second boy. Her sister (16) is 4 months pregnant and smoking cigarrettes on the porch. Her brother is in jail, and her younger sister (14) is doing ok so far. They all live with their grandma in a small 3 bedroom house. That just really depressed me... and my sister. These guys used to be her best friends and if she would've stayed here, she would've turned out just like them. It was just horrible to witness, I really feel sorry for the new baby(s) on the way. A few hours later, I took her to the Lighthouse. We played Yahtzi and I kicked her butt. I'm very skilled at that game, Josh, some of us have it and some of us don't. She got to meet almost everyone, and had a really cool conversation with Lauren. She even got to talk a little Japanese to Justin and Nathan. We then did what all of us have done when we get bored at the LH... we went to Hastings. Much fun, she bought a ton of new cd's, including Flogging Molly a new interest of mine. On the way home she and I talked about her exboyfriend and how that long distance relationship failed. She commented on how Josh and I look like we're doing great (that's because we are) Her's didn't work because he didn't really have the committment. I feel blessed that I'm not in that position. It was hard for her. I've never really connected with my sister as much as I have in these few days. The last few years she was here was kind of hectic because of the baby and all. This has been great... too bad she leaves Thursday.

My older sister Krista flew in on Friday. She's so small! I forgot how short she was, she's been around Asians too long. Today we went to Breakfast and then shopping at the Mall. I hate shopping, it really gets annoying. I'm the "go in and get one thing and leave" kinda gal. I exchanged a shirt and then bought a dance shirt. Total money spent at mall: $3.00, I did well. I'm seriously penny pinching right now, I leave for Indaina really soon (though, not soon enough) I'm not sure exactly how much to bring with me up there, i'll figure that out. I also need to start looking at maps and deciding what we're going to do once I'm there. It kind of occured to me that Josh and I never really spent very much time alone, we we're always with people. It's going to be great though. OOOOOoooooohhhhh...... I can't wait!

No one fscking blogs anymore! What's the deal?! Do we not have personal feelings to share or anything? Are we all dead to emotion?

Once again, I almost died. No, I'm just kidding. I shouldn't joke around with death, not funny. But during Band prcatice today I started getting short of breath for no apparent reason. Then I was having short dizzy spells. Right as practice was ending I got these really sharp, severe pains in my chest. Wasn't very cool at all. Ashlin and Anne assisted me in breathing by holding my arms up and telling me to breathe through my diaphram. Goodness, it hurt bad but they helpled a lot. I was fine 10 minutes later, but then driving home I got those dizzy spells again and my hearing started fading, I got like tunnel hearing. If this happens again, I'm going to the doctor. It was very strange, but it's happened to me before, just hasn't happened in a LONG time. Oh well, good news is I'm fine now.

There are some times in your life when you sit there and can't help but smile. You're so content with your life that you glow with happiness. I've been experiencing this since sometime early-July when I first seriously felt this way about him. The amazing thing is I still feel this way, even though he's 1200 miles from home. Everytime I get off the phone, every letter I read, every suprise I receive, I can't help but tingle with delight. I just hope that every girl finds what I have been so blessed to find. This relationship is beautiful, and honest, and caring, and loving, and absolutley amazing. But the truly amazing thing is it continues to grow with each passing day even though we are so far apart. I love you more than any words can express, thank you so very much.

I beleive God should make cloudy, rainy, beautiful days like this once or twice a week. I love this weather (except for the suprise, I accidentaly left my window cracked last night so my butt was very wet during the first part of my day at school this morning) It's really wonderful weather, I wish it would stay like this for weeks at a time. I can't wait for winter, by far my favorite season. The bitting cold is somehow comforting to me. The way it forces you to bundle up during the day, and at night convinces you to wrap your self in a warm blanket. I can't wait. I'm starting a new line of movies to watch... Kevin Smith films are my new thing. I still have to finish my Richard Linklater films though. Don't worry Daniel, I'm catching up.

Well, I'm trying to post something but I realized there's nothing for me to post about. Abosolutely nothing... at all. 50 agonizing days to wait for Josh, I'm halfway there.

Today we had our senior panoramic shot. Wow, how proud I am of our senior class. I stood there next to Cassie and Ashlin (feeling very out of place considering I was the only 5'9 person amongst the 5'4 people) listening to Kyle Moore's exasperated "Oh my GOD!" exclamations over and over as the Tex Anns took forever to get into place. It was a heck of a lot of fun, let me tell you. I missed Spanish class, so that's an upper. Tanner and I originally tired to stand next to eachother, but he was so much taller than me, that just wouldn't work. I just managed to stand near Cassie, Ashlin, Thinh, Dan, and CJ. What a line up! I didn't actually stand straight up until the shot was being taken, haha.