Home is... where?

I've been in West Lafayette, Indiana for three weeks with Josh. Today I go home, though San Angelo doesn't really feel like home. This is probably supported by the fact that I don't really have a house there. Since I moved into the dorms, I no longer had a permanent address according to my mother. All my things are scattered around San Angelo in boxes at various friend's houses and I won't get it all together until I move back in the dorms for the 06-07 school year. It's really strange to go back to my old room and see my mother's and sister's things all over the place. It doesn't help things when my mother and sister continuously correct me when I accidentaly say "my" room. My mistake, I'm just sleeping there living out of a suitcase until I move back into the dorms. I guess you can understand why I'm going to be traveling away from there for most of the summer. I'm an RA, my job is to make a home away from home for my residents though ironically the dorms are my home.

If home is where the heart is, then where ever Josh may be is where I am home. Living with Josh is easy. Being with someone you love for most of the hours of the day is wonderful, and being with someone who can keep you entertained is even better.

Since I am a daddy's girl, being with my Dad is going to be pretty great too. Growing up very close to your father until you are 10, then not seeing the guy for years hurts pretty bad. Seeing him now that I'm older makes me long for those missing years, but I also know it was for the beat and mainly no one's fault but his. Nevertheless, I feel I am at home with my father so being in CA for a month can only do me good.

I'll make myself a home someday with the help of another and I'll be happy (not that I'm not right now, I just feel displaced). For now, home is with the people I care about and in D100's where I will not only make it a home away from home for the residents, but a home for myself.

The Not So Cryptic Version of Me

I am now enjoying some time off in West Lafayette, Indiana with a guy I'm crazy about. Josh is someone I can sit in silence with and never feel uncomfortable about it. Love is simply feeling content in the mere presence of a person and we are at that point. I feel wonderful up here. Not only that I'm with Josh, but that I'm away from San Angelo because I hate the heat, wind, and severe lack of interesting things to do. At least here in West Lafayette I've got a library, school, bookstore, 10 coffee shops, and cafes all within walking distance of me. Glorious.

This is my first summer not at Camp Sol Mayer and it feels kind of wierd. I miss my sister and all my friends, but I think there's a time when you grow out of camp life. Plus, this was a time when Josh and I really needed to spend some time together where we weren't bothered by anybody, mainly family (his and mine). Not that we were always bothered, but private time is something Josh and I rarely ever have.

San Angelo, I don't miss you. By the end of the summer when I am back from San Francisco, I will loathe you even more.

"So book her tickets,
And please her parents.
She is lovely,
And he is really smart."

Life was Leisure, Rainer Maria

I'm always falling in love with certain lyrics of songs that apply so perfectly to my life right now. I think that's the beauty of songs (that's not very deep.) Anyway, I recently aquired an album that absolutely rocks entited "Catastrophe" being the newest from Rainer Maria. The song "Life was Leisure" sings my anthem right now. It is an odd and simple four lines, but I love them.


My best friend got married. Wow. There's something about weddings that make my adrenaline rush. The flowers, the rings, the dresses, the tuxedos... Granted, Matt and Danielle's was a HUGE southern debutante wedding, but it was still a great experience. I'm not sure if I believe there is one person for everyone, a soulmate if you will, but I know that Matt and Danielle are perfect for eachother. They just fit perfect together and where he lacks in verbosity, she makes up in conversasion. Those balances are apparent all over they're relationship and it is neat to see. Weddings bring out my dreaming inner child because I've been planning my wedding since I was 6. Yet, it also brings out my "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" complex. But then again, I'm only 20 and it's ridiculous to think about that right now. (The fear, not the dream.)