family events

I went to a wedding today. It was at the Cactus Hotel and it was lovely... and painful. It was only painful due to the fact that I was the third wheel (this is getting increasingly more common and more uncomfortable) and I had to listen to the other two wheels make comments on what they want for their wedding. Ugh, it was disgusting and aggravating, but my hostile feelings aren't really their fault. Honestly, my little sister and her boyfriend shouldn't be planning their own wedding yet and I shouldn't be angry or aggravated with them.

I'm not really angry at anyone, actually. I'm just angry, period. I hate feeling marginalized. I should be used to it by now since I am quite the blacksheep of the Deming-Combs family, but it is very weathering.

In other, yet related news:

I'm reading a fantastic book right now. It's called The Time Traveler's Wife and it is magnificent. It totally challenges the idea of the space/time continuum in the most creative way. One of the things I'm looking forward to most about this summer is spending summer nights reading in my new apartment or on a towel by the lake. Though if things go how I want them to, I wont be alone (I fear I'm being selfish in that regard, but what's a desperate girl to do?).

The thing is, I have some striking similarities to Clare, the protagonist. She is constantly grasping for more time with her love, but she has no control over the time or length of their visits together. She just keeps waiting for their life to start, but it is totally out of her hands. Meanwhile, Gomez, a mutual friend of the couple, is desperately in love with Clare is and trying get her to give up on the unpredictable and go for the steady. As of page 265 of 532, Clare is holding out for her Henry but is getting angry and doesn't have anything to blame her anger on. Huh.

Of course, my terrible description of the national best seller and upper 50 amazon ranked novel makes it sound like a sappy Daniel Steele idea instead of a masterpiece of modern fiction. It's a good book, believe me. Ugh, again I feel guilt and selfish but what else am I to do? Seriously! I don't know what to do! Jeez.