Fiery Trials

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the firey trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12

God is teaching me incredible lessons regading growth. I see with undeniable evidence that growth means pruning, and pruning means pain. I confess, I'm actually a coward when it comes to pain. I certainly never pray for it, but it seems to be there everyday and it may even be necessary. Moreso now that I am mourning. I do not anticipate or look forward to it, but it is there. I can do only one thing. I ask God to steady me, since the Bible so clearly states that trials are a part of our lifewalk with him. I am learning more and more about what that means.

In all honesty, I would prefer to escape this testing. To run miles and miles from it; busy myself with trivial tasks to keep away from it. I don't like the pain of emotional trauma, which seems sometimes to be so overwhelming, consumming, and baffling. I don't like the deep cutting pain that goes on without relief. The pain of lonliness frightens me, the pain of losing someone dear to me grieves me.

Nevertheless, I am praying for an open heart. I can't begin to contemplate what firey ordeals God may choose for my testing and growth, but I do long for my yieldness to prove my willingness to be conformed to the image of his Son.