Cheifs and Indians

After my previous post I realized that I feel like I'm always a step behind people. I push and push myself mainly because I think I'm trying to play catch-up. I doubt I can get my addicive work ethic to change. I'll always be the one volunteering to do something, thinking that I'm not pulling my weight, but then taking too much on and stressing myself out completely. A prime example of this is my work as an RA. I took on being chairperson of this committee that was responsible for a huge department function and I stressed for two weeks about it. Yeah, I got it done and it went smoothly, but I worry about the impact it had on my life in other areas. I hardly see my friends anymore because of my classes, but adding this there was no time for even a casual "hello." When it was over I suppose the end justified the means because I got complements from the directors and the other RA's saw that I'm reliable. Plus, the feeling when you accomplish something you have worked very hard on is pretty nice. Though, I've got to draw the line somewhere. I have to be the person who sits back as is told what to do. Ugh, that is difficult for me. It is not in my genetic make-up to sit back and cruise. I know that being a good leader is knowing when to lead and when to follow, but that is SO hard to do when really the leader is incompetent. How "Stuwey" of me. I suppose I'll work on it.