I had a very weird weekend. Not that weird things happened, just that I had a very weird feeling all weekend. Unfortunately it all started with UIL, and I don't know why I let all that stupid stuff bother me so much. Maybe because last week I was an emotional wreck and it seemed like everything was amplified. At work Saturday night I felt so unstable and I REALLY needed someone to talk to, but of course being at work didn't exactly give me a chance to do that. When there was some down time, I ended up "talkng" to Josh through this 3 page letter. I wrote him 3 pages on why everything was bothering me and how I felt about things. I don't think I'm going to send it though, it looked to me like whinning after I read through it. It was just nice to vent, even if it was in a letter that I'll never send. It was almost like he was listening, but in reality had no idea anyhting was wrong. Writing is probably the best way for me to let out feelings, I see that now and I need to do it more often. It all comes down to me having an identity crisis that has gone on since the beginning of the summer. Of course every teenager goes through it, so that just means I'm normal. Senior year is an emotional roller coaster... you turn 18, you decide what college you want to go to, you prepare for college and leaving home... it's jsut really hard on the psychie. Of course, the former 2 things I mentioned I'm not even going through, though I wish I was. But it all boils down to how you view yourself and appreciating yourself, something I need to work on. So loving others helps you to love yourself, which helps you to love others more. It's a win win situation. That Jesus fellow had this mastered.


And I must say Thank You.