she waits one more week to fall apart

When I worked on Saturday I wrote a really LOOOOOOONG post about the happenings of Friday night, i poured heart and soul into that post for about half an hour, but yes, it was lost. My Lighthouse sign on timed out and when I logged back on, it was gone. Really, REALLY annoying!


Hmmm.....this has just turned into a self motivation post. No one really reads this anymore anyway, so I'll talk to myself. All I have to do is wait for Friday, it seems impossible. It's like I'm climbing a huge mountain with an unmeasureable weight holding be back. I got so much done within the last 12 hours! Finally, my Gov AP essay, my Chapter 12 Test and Study Guide, my English AP essay, my Photojournalism Final Project. All these things checked off my list, and yet I feel like nothing has been lifted. I still have so much to do... I'm not built for these stresses, no one is. Yet, we must accept it and deal with it the best way we know how. Unfortunately for me, I end up procrastinating and suffering the consequences.

I had a really hard time last night, I just ran to my mom crying like I was a 6 year-old or something. Honestly, I'm sick and tired of people making me feel stupid and insignificant. I may not have an insanely extensive vocabulary and my forte may not be in mathematics, but I'm talented and intellegent in ways people may not see, or rather bother to acknowledge. It's a shame that some of the people closest to me are the ones doing most of the harm. I remember writing about this in an earlier blog post.... apparently things haven't changed. I guess a trait in me is I'm sensitive to others words. I try not to be, but that's just me putting on a facade and not being true to myslef: words hurt. This hasn't changed in me, Amber and Ashlin can tell you that I've been like this since 7th grade. If anyone has any comments on how to help me not be so sensitive, please share. Yet, I'm not so sure that I'm being too sensitive or people are just too harsh. Please, I ask you as my friend, please don't be cruel and overly-sarcastic with me and don't insult my intellegence. I would never, ever, ever want to hurt you, so please think before you speak.