School and my job and everything else that takes up time really sucks. I've realized that there never is enough time. It's something eveyone wants more of, but no one can have. I want to spend more time reading my bible, having intelligent coversations with friends, reading profound books... I wanted more time with my brother and sister before they left home, I want to spend more time with Daniel, Thinh, Juston, and the rest of the gang. God knows I wanted more time with Josh! I don't know, reading Josh's journal yesterday I realized how much of an outsider I really am. It's not that everyone makes me feel like an outsider, it's just that I really am. I'm so different than all of you. I'm not insanely smart or sarcastic, I don't have the music know-how, I don't have incredibly witty things to say, I don't antagonize people for fun, I don't know a thing about computers or video games... I just don't. I really don't know what I am, I feel like I don't contribute anything at all. I guess I'm having a slight identity crisis. Thinh even said that this group is so cool because we are all so different, but I just feel a little more different or something. What I do know is that I care for all of you deeply (but if any of you "slay" anyone I don't guarantee I'll "stay" with you, we don't need no killin') and I'm sorry I can't spend as much time with you as I'd like to. As for Josh, I'm sorry I didn't act on this relationship as soon as I found you. I'm trying to keep up with you now the best I can, so bear with me when I forget things.




It doesn't take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way
~Jewel