Well, my end of summer post is still yet to come. I have a lot to say, you guys know how my novels go.

It's 11:42 and I just got off the phone with my dad. Yes, my REAL dad, or I just like to call him my chromosome donator because that's pretty much all he's been to me in my life. I'll explain that story later. Anyway, we actually had a really good conversation. He told me about all the awesome things he's doing in California such as going to concerts, organic resturaunts, Santa Cruz University, all that stuff. Man oh man I really miss California, the beaches, the sound of the city at night, it's really great. I talked about Josh... the whole time. He was actually incredibly impressed that Josh is 18 and doesn't swear, drink, do drugs and is incredibly smart and still a virgin. You have to understand that in CA if you have long hair you are labeled a hippie and along with that come hippie ideals such as smoking a lot of pot and free sex all the time. It was just hard for my California dad's mind to understand that you don't have to have all that stuff in your life. That made me just realize again how absolutely perfect Josh actually is and I felt very proud that I can say that yes, that conservative modest man is my boyfriend. I'm still in shock that my dad and I actually had a good conversation without him bashing my mother about something and me hanging up. One thing he said really bothered me though. After I told him that Josh and I are doing the long distance thing he said "Good luck!" in a very condesending tone. I've heard that a lot lately, from a lot of people I've told. I just want everyone to know that Number 1: I don't believe in luck and Number 2: If I did, I don't need it! We're doing just fine and we're going to do this, no matter what! He's absolutely awesome and makes me feel incredible even though we're miles apart. So all you doubters can just give love a chance go suck eggs! Along with this I must add that those of you who believe in us are AMAZINGLY supportive and you're making this soooooo much easier on me, and him probably. I'm still sorry I let you all down and missed my Xtwo live crewX initiation. I drove around with Matt Willey tonight and I finally got my darn sharpies. You know you have to be 18 to buy those! We drove around in his Jeep blasting Bob Marley "Everything is going to be alright!" We have this tradition that's been going on for 2 years. Every end of summer, christmas break, and spring break we drive around and listen to Dashboard Confessional "Age Six Racer." Matt is great and he always helps me through everything, "just listen to Bob Marley" he always says. Hey, I haven't cried today! First day I haven't since Thursday, that's a good thing. Well, I'm off to bed. Good bye America and Good bye summer '03, you've been good to me.


Hey thanks, thanks for that summer.
It is cold where your going
I hope that your heart is always warm.
I gave you the best that i had.


Ok.. dang it... the whole "not crying" thing is moot now. 99 days, down to double digits.